Friday, April 3, 2015

From the Heart (and from AE)

Over the last 5 months, one of the things that has made me the most proud has been becoming a mother. Since I was a little girl I always knew that what I wanted most was to be a mom. I was the little girl that always had a baby doll in hand and my dolls we complete with a car seat (that I made sure to buckle in), stroller and diaper bag because this 5 year old meant business. As I got older and finished school as much as I knew I wanted to be a mom, starting a career and chasing life goals was something I knew I had to complete before I was ready to give myself completely to another human being. 

Becoming a mom has been one of the best gifts. I never imagined I would be "one of those moms" who takes a million pictures and videos of their baby all day and bursts into tears at the thought of leaving him for more than a two hour time span - but guess what? I am, and I refuse to apologize for it. 

I now see where all those moms were coming from. I understand the fears and I see the huge importance the mother plays in her little one's life... he didn't ask to be brought into this world, I chose to bring him into this world, so I owe it to him to be the absolute best mother, role model, and care giver I can be, for him

None of this has come with the sacrifice of giving myself up, I just feel that I am a more selfless and better version of myself. So with this I want to say to all of the moms out there that happily say "no thank you" to the Friday night bar crawl, the moms who have sacrificed a pair of shoes to miss a day of work to be home with your babies,  I get it. You have the babysitters (Lord knows I have about 3 lists of them), you have the availability, but its simple - you don't get these moments with your little one back. They'll never be so little that you can cradle their entire bodies in two arms again and they will never be so helpless that they look at you like you're some sort of Goddess again. 

I have vowed and made a promise to myself that I wouldn't take for granted these moments with my son. I'll never tire of his sweet smiles and cuddles, and I refuse to complain all day about my sleepless nights holding him in my arms, because before I know it, these moments will be gone. And just as I have no regrets about missing out on anything from my "pre-mom" life, I refuse to have any regrets or sorrows on missing these days or regretting not being part of as many minutes and moments of his life as possible. 

So, to all the moms I judged before me, I am sorry.
 I get it, I respect it, and I am proud to be in your company. 

With love,

on me:

on raj: