Thursday, January 22, 2015

Mama Bear


Welcome back! Wow, I can not believe it has been a little over 3 months since I have made an entry, I have so much to share! And guess what… I HAD A BABY! Pretty obvious by now, I assume. I am so happy and pleased to introduce to my “blog family” my beautiful and amazing little boy
Rajan Darshan Upadhyaya 
He was born on October 24, 2014 at a whopping 7.10lbs, 20 inches, and full of pure love. Darshan and I have never in our lives been more proud of an accomplishment.


Prior to having Rajan, I knew I would take some time off from “life” i.e. work, blogging, social events, etc. I honestly couldn’t have imagined just how much time I would let go by, but mostly, how little I would want to rush to get back to it all. One thing is for sure, life sure does fly by when you’re having fun!

Baby heaven is what I like to refer to this time as because put simply, that is the best way to describe it. The past 3 months have been the best of my entire life. I knew I was going to love being a mom, and I knew I was going to love my baby, but I truly never could have imagined to what extreme of a level this love would go. There really are not any words to describe this surreal paradise I have been living in with my husband and my little boy; the best way to describe this ethereal feeling is as elated amounts of joy, pride, and happiness.



With all of that said, you may be wondering: Has any of this been easy? NO! Are there days where I want to hover in a corner and cry over the extreme amount exhaustion and the high levels of adjustment I have embarked on due to all of the change going on around me? YES! Would I change any of it? NEVER. 
I will be the first to admit, change scares me; I am talking run, hide, flee the country kind of terror at the idea of adjusting to change. I have been that way since I was young. I am, by nature, what they refer to as “slow to warm up.” Don’t get me wrong, I live my life to the fullest and love to try new things: food, travel, and experiences - I am open-minded and I crave adventure… I like to call myself a “yes” person in that I will always try to say “yes” to trying anything once… but a life shattering, altering and permanent change of pace? See ya! So naturally when I was preparing for motherhood, I was scared of what would happen when this moment actually came. I didn’t know what to expect, I didn’t know how I would feel (emotionally and physically), and I didn’t know what would happen to the beautiful and fun life Darshan and I had created together. All I knew was that we were embarking on the biggest change of our lives. 

I had been given plenty of advice over my 9 (really 10) months of pregnancy; the one thing you learn when you are pregnant is that people LOVE giving expecting parents plenty of advice, and for us, it came in many forms - positive, negative, and down-right terrifying. Now don’t get me wrong, I loved and appreciated all of the great advice we had received along the way from our always supportive family and friends, but no amount of advice in the world prepares you for the change that having a baby will do to your life. I could have never expected to love any life changes I have experienced more than I have loved this one. This entire experience has taught me so much about life and love. 



For example, the amount of love and appreciation I have for my husband has never been greater. I have him to thank for being on this journey with me and beside me, and he continues daily to be such a huge support and comfort to me along the way. I have been very conscious of how fortunate I am to have been able to take 4 months off from work to be home with Rajan every day. I knew that doing so would be a sacrifice to my career, and our regular pace of life, but it was so important to me to have this time with my son. I couldn’t have done this without the support and encouragement from my husband, as well as the support I have received from my work family and I am forever grateful for the amazing people in my life for this time I have been blessed with.


In my time home, I have been learning so much about myself as a mother and about life. I have learned very early how quickly time flies, how fast the days go, and that this is especially so when you are wanting nothing more but for it to slow down. I have enjoyed every day, every minute and every second with Rajan; I almost find it hard to believe that life existed before him. There are so many fears, joys, and so much love to give, sometimes I feel like I could explode from the amount of emotion I feel.

So what is it like to be a mom? Put simply, it is heaven. I have never felt so much love in my entire life, nor have I ever whispered the phrase “I love you” more in a day. When he hurts, I feel helpless. When he cries, I cry (literally). And when I see my husband holding him in his arms, I know at this time in our lives, we are truly complete and whole as a family.


I look forward to sharing so many joys, hurdles and triumphs of this journey with you on my blog. This, of course, will not be done with the sacrifice of great fashion, travels, and so much more that life decides to bring our way. My goal as a writer is to go deeper, share what I learn as a mom, but most importantly, share my growth as a human. My goal is to take fashion to a new level, and to do so with deeper substance and meaning. One thing I have learned over the last 3 months is that I am still me, I still have all of the same interests, dreams, and aspirations; however, I am just a BETTER version of me. I hope you will enjoy this amazing life along with us…


The Southcoast Movement is back, and better than ever. 

With love,
Amanda

Photograpgy: Darshan U. // Mama Bear Tee: maisonwares // camel leather jacket: similar found here //
On Rajan: Bear King onesie: Baby Gap, similar found here // skinny denim: Baby Gap